For the Burger Patties:
1 lb ground beef (80/20 blend for juicy flavor)
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
½ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon onion powder
Salt & pepper, to taste
4 slices of cheddar cheese
For the Lettuce (Dowlen Greens)
½ head iceberg lettuce, shredded
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
1 teaspoon lemon juice
A pinch of salt
For the Buns:
4 brioche or sesame seed buns, lightly toasted
For the Pickles
1 cucumber, thinly sliced
½ cup white vinegar
½ cup water
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon mustard seeds (optional)
Step 1: The Pickle Prep
Mr. Bigpants believes that every pickle must be disciplined. In a small saucepan, combine vinegar, water, sugar, salt, and mustard seeds. Bring to a simmer, then pour over cucumber slices in a heatproof jar. Let them chill in the fridge while you cook the burgers. These quick pickles will be tangy, crisp, and just rebellious enough to sneak into every bite.
Step 2: The Lettuce Lesson in My Office
In a bowl, toss shredded iceberg lettuce with mayonnaise, lemon juice, and a pinch of salt. It’s crunchy, refreshing, and has just enough zing to keep students (and eaters) awake through 6th period.
Step 3: The Burger Basics (ft. Mark Dowlen)
In a large bowl, mix ground beef with Worcestershire, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper. Form into 4 patties. Grill or pan-fry over medium-high heat for 3–4 minutes per side, topping each with cheddar cheese in the last minute so it melts into gooey perfection.
Step 4: Assemble the Bigpants Burger
Toast the buns. Layer with lettuce crunch, a juicy burger patty, a spoonful of pickles, and any extra toppings you dare add (tomato, ketchup, maybe even a fried egg if you’re feeling like skipping class).
Step 5: The Cafeteria Line...Lettuce and Pickle?
Line them up on a tray, cafeteria-style, and let everyone grab their own. The crisp lettuce, zingy pickles, and juicy patty come together like students at a pep rally; chaotic, but somehow perfectly in harmony.
Mark Dowlen, known as "Mr. Bigpants" by students and colleagues alike, is the principal of a prestigious academy. When he’s not keeping students in check, he’s in the kitchen, perfecting recipes that combine comfort and indulgence. His passion for baking is rivaled only by his commitment to education—because whether it's knowledge or chocolate, he believes the best things in life should be shared.
"Spectacular taters..."
Ken F.
"Smelled the brownie cake a mile away!"
Angela W.
"Pinto beans are my favorite, man!"
John G.
"Pizza AND fish?! He's a genius..."
William F.